Sunday, January 12, 2014

Get the Bag

In one of the classic 39 Honeymooner episodes Ralph is informed that a little old lady who he helped on and off the bus for years has named him in her will. Ralph thinks this is nice, but assumed she was a poor woman.  The lawyer informs Ralph that the woman was hardly poor, had fifty million dollars, and that besides Ralph there is only a ne'er do well nephew, a butler, and a maid, who are named in the will.

Ralph is ecstatic. Norton, his partner and friend, decides to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will because since Ralph is going to get 50 million dollars, he will need a vessel to put the dough in.  They go to the reading and during it the lawyer announces, repeatedly, that the kind bus driver Ralph Kramden has been left her "fortune."  Ralph is overjoyed. Shakes hands with Norton. Yells "I'm rich" each time he hears that he is to inherit the "fortune."  Ralph leans over to Norton and says, "Get the Bag" so that they will be able to lug away the fifty million dollars.  Turns out that "fortune" was the name of the old lady's bird and that is what she left for Ralph.

 Nevertheless when conversing with my Honeymooner cronies, "Get the Bag" has become shorthand for "I just came into some cash."

Last week after the first weekend of the playoffs I wrote the blog "Recalculating" in which I discussed my abysmal skill at predicting sports outcomes.  The time was apt for such self-effacing remarks as I had only predicted one of the four games correctly.   Despite this, I forged ahead and predicted this weekend's games.

Get the Bag.

 I got all four right, bringing my playoff record to a respectable 5-3.  This is the kind of winning streak that makes Las Vegas very happy since it encourages someone to think they know what they are doing.

 No fool I. I realize this is an aberration and that I don't know what I am doing. Winning in sports betting is about the worst thing that can happen to a bettor since you cannot win regularly but you may think you are a sage and bet your mortgage after the illusory success.  Then you lose your shirt.

That written, here are my predictions for next week.

Seattle over San Francisco--Seattle did not play all that well today, but their defense is very tough and the Seattle stadium is very difficult to play in. I think Kaepernick's only average without his running ability and I don't see him running over Seattle.  San Francisco probably played the weakest team this weekend.  I like Seattle and I think they will win by at least a touchdown.

Patriots over Broncos.  Tough to be objective on this one. I saw last night's game with my dad who probably wondered at its end if he had raised a maniac.  It has been a while since he has seen a game with me and I imagine he will look forward to watching next week's contest in peace.  I made him wear a Troy Brown uniform and hung a Patriots sweatshirt over the closet door.  So, maybe my analysis here is the stuff of desire as opposed to logic. I've been accused of this before.  But I like the Patriots to win.  The Broncos defense is not that impressive and the Patriots will score points against them. The Patriots will not commit the multiple offsides penalties that the Chargers had today.  I think Manning is the real deal, and the Denver receivers are better than the Pats' receivers, but I think that the Pats are better defensively and better coached.  I like the Patriots and if they are getting points I like them a lot.

Now, bet the other way and get the bag.

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