Empty drawer

Yesterday, Dad, a fellow cancelled an appointment in the afternoon and I had a rare afternoon with an uninterrupted few hours with which to accomplish things. So, I decided to tackle a drawer which has become a dumping ground for receipts, records, and assorted items that I did not want to address at the times when they first made the scene.  Then, I would toss the item in a drawer saying, "I'll get to it later."  Yesterday afternoon became later.

Strange sensations I had when I went through that drawer.  For the most part I am doing fine with your departure. We have our moments, of course.   Bobby and I were in New York last weekend dealing with this and that, and I was in Florida in December addressing some house stuff.  I had intended to enjoy the sun, but Mr. Sunshine must have had some vacation time coming to him. Still for the most part I am fine and so is Bobby.

Emptying the drawer was not easy.  In it was one reminder after another.  There were some doctor bills, and house bills that I had deposited there.  I get your mail now and there were various items that I had placed in the drawer about your bank accounts, charities, and interests.  You and mom took some cruises so now every cruise outfit sends you ads, and yiddish magazines write to you urging that you subscribe.

And then I came across travel itineraries for when I visited when you were alone after mom passed.  Those were the hardest.  I recalled the trip Thanksgiving time and the one a year ago when I arrived in a storm that required Noah-esque navigating.  And then boarding passes and car rental receipts from the trips when you were hospitalized.  Every time I yanked one of those receipts out, I felt a burning in my gut.

A couple of people sent you hanukkah cards so I wrote back and told them that you were gone.  I saw Wally in Florida and he, again, spoke of his affection for you.   I got to see Penny and Arthur also at Penny's.  They too, of course, mentioned your contribution to us all.

You would have enjoyed the end of the football season.  The Patriots, vu den, are in the championship game.  Great tilt between them and the Ravens last weekend.  It's the Patriots and the Colts, and the Packers/Seahawks.  Even relaying that creates a burn as it was on Super bowl Sunday last year that Bobby and I flew back after your first week in the hospital.  We were down again a couple of times before you left, but I remember that night because while you were not a happy camper at least you got into watching the game on the hospital tv.

Shabbat Shalom, Dad.  You are missed up here in Boston. And all the other places where you touched the world.  You used to say that you would still be part of the equation after you left. Another bit of wisdom from you.